In 2024, I lost one of my mentors. It was unexpected, and I didn’t get to say goodbye to him. At the time we were only talking about once a year. He had moved to another state and was enjoying retirement with his lovely wife and beloved dogs. Bill Hatter spent his life serving others… in every sense of the words, he was a professional mentor. He coached and supported countless people during his career in the Big Brothers Big Sisters organization. So many, in fact, that he’d lost count of the lives he had touched – now THAT is IMPACT. In life, we encounter those unique souls, who mentor so eloquently you don’t even know you’ve been schooled. I was immeasurably lucky to be in his sphere.

The experience of losing someone I thought would always float back through the door and drop some wisdom on me, kind of shook me. I had been taking that relationship for granted. It made me start thinking about more actively engaging with my mentors, making it formal, and planning the time I had with them better. Also… I recognize I need to be grateful and thankful more. Here’s what that meditation resulted in:

Make it formal

I haven’t typically “made it formal” with my mentors. Mostly they are just very influential people, we get together when possible. And, they are gracious enough to listen to me ramble about all the things I’m trying to work through in my personal and professional life. Sometimes I say, “You are my mentor” or “You are a great mentor to me” etc. But, I have come to realize that I need to make it more formal. Hell, I could stop being so brash and actually ask them, “Hey would you be willing to mentor me – be a sounding board, etc.” Then there becomes a slight formality to it and we both feel obligated to connect more, and they know “why” I’m asking them questions. The expectation changes a little.

Plan the time

I mean this in two ways. First, plan the time you have with them well. They are likely busy, in demand, and are your FRIEND. So, consider that you want to include time to just catch up, get insight into their life, and enjoy them as a person. Then, let them know the thing (or things) you need to talk through with them when you meet.

Secondly, put it in the books. Make it regular, y’all. This is where I have failed when it comes to my mentor relationships. I take them when I can get them, or when it’s convenient to ME. The right way to approach this is to make it a regular meeting. Schedule it.

Pay to play

My mentors have always been associates who I was lucky enough to have a friendship with – but sometimes if you don’t have those people in your life, you need to hire a coach. If you are paying for their time, it becomes even more important to plan your time well and schedule it regularly. There are many coaching programs for various levels of leadership, or if you ask around you may have a colleague using a paid mentor/coaching program. You may also consider group coaching/mentoring – joining a mastermind can be extremely productive. (that’s a whole post in itself)

More than one

Lastly, consider having more than one mentor. I have at least 3 people I lean on in my life with big decisions. The idea for me there is that each one brings a different experience to the table. Sometimes I even ask the same question of multiple mentors and get varied responses. It helps me see multiple viewpoints I may not have considered. It also spreads the risk that someone may not be available when I need them. Having a deeper bench always helps.

Lastly here – do NOT take your mentors for granted. Tell them you appreciate them. Express what they mean to you and how they have changed your life. Nothing lasts forever, and the time you have with someone who can coach you through the difficult transitions and decisions of your life is invaluable.